that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
