you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
