I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
