She's JV to your varsity
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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