garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Plan B is the new Plan A
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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