ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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