Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
