NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
