you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
