Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
