toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
