oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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