i just had sex bonerless
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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