get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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