Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
