The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
