Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
did i walk over a car last night?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
