sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
