There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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