I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
