and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
