What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
