I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
