I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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