Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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