I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
