That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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