OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
