I have demons in me.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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