yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize