He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
