My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
