just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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