I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
