just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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