3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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