Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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