I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
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