I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
