i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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