We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
