I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
