Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
