It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
