I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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