I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
