He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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