this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize