"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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