Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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