I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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