I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She even gives head with a lisp.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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