I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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