I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize