your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I met the friendliest cop last night
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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