its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Randomize
