she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize