Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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