you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
