so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
