I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
